Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
