So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
