I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
