super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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