i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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