so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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