too bad you live with your parents still
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
