Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
