Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
