We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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