Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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