eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
