yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
