check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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