Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
