So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
