Where is the hickey?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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