A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
