I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
