i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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