I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
