when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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