is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
