I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
