lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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