I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
