I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize