so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize