When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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