I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you win again, gameday.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
