Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize