i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
