I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize