that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
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