Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
