his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
