He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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