Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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