Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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