exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
