people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
