He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
