D3 body, D1 cock
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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