I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
