She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
