You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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