Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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