I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize