so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
