Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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