I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
