No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
