Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
