u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
