I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
