he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
