Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize