please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
