The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize