things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
