just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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