Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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