i think my mom watched the whole time
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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