The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
