he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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