Whoa Z and x make the same sound
this beer tastes like vomit already
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
