I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I believe in your delicious
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
