Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
