She is in my trunk
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
