I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
