party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Fuck appropriateness.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
