Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
