just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
