if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
