you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
