took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
