So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
