he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
